White was time

The house is getting empty. I've loaned out as much as I can and keep pursuing the goal of leaving everything in Bloomington to take back in a year. I only have a bit left over, so I did pretty well, and basically furnished Lyssa's bedroom twice over. Now I'm cleaning a year's grime from these crumbly white walls. Last night smoked and cleaned the bathroom with rubber gloves for the strange things I found in the corner by the toilet. Strange thing that the bathroom rug gathers more dirt than anything else in the house. I guess it has seen dirty dirty days before many many showers.  

Never found the nintendo or the books, though I did confront Joy about it, shaking with rage... to no avail, she has no idea what I'm talking about... apparently. Sorry kid, I did so try. 

We had two rolls of film come back jumpy and completely unusable, causing us to lose at least four major scenes from the film. Two lessons there, 1) Be more firm with Cody when I think the camera sounds as though it is dysfunctional 2) Never use actual film when you don't actually have the money for it. 3) Be less idealistic 4) stay inside

I made a giant pillow area in the living room- we threw the couch into the dumpster across the street, man did we fill that motherfucker. 

Anyway

You were supposed to come today

But there never are no Rachels round here no more. 

the time

is approaching when we will all leave our respectable, warm summer habitats and march towards education, success, and ultimately--the frosty future. normally my sentiments at this time of the summer are predominately negative and disappointed, tinged with excitement and nervousness for the fall, but this summer, my shit is on the walls. i couldn't be more excited for europe... don't remind me that i'll have commitments, obligations, and a huge crock full of confusion and frustration dragging me down. going to london means that i'm real. i'm not just a college student; i'm a college student that's trying really hard. this world is a big place and i want to get lost.

so yes, there were camping trips and swim outings, i skipped work to get fucked up, i annoyed the shit of my parents and shirked all responsibility to the brink of unhealthiness.... but this summer has been empty. i have missed my hallowed hippie friends much more than i could have expected. every time i get a drunk dial from paul or nathan, i remember last summer and shed a happy tear. when solomon sends me facebook messages even a year later (and from peru), i get psyched. i have greatly missed the unabashed intelligence of my Bloomington peers, and am tired of treading water filled with parasitic mediocrities.

and damn it, sagan. i don't see what anyone could see in anyone else. but you.

and we're going to get through this.