Deep in the chest of every human being, there lives a secret society of fighting ninjas. You laugh? What if I was to tell you these ninjas are gnome-like creatures who hide their identities beneath layers of black clothing and fluffy white facial hair? Perhaps you would guffaw at my ignorant confusion. Well, my friend. You would be wrong. Despite their somewhat concealed existence, in every non-robot, humanoid body, there resides a squad of fighting demons, capable of devastating destruction.
Last week my rib-dwelling ninja gnomes were attacked.
Two smugglers by the name of Mucuster and Phlegmy arrived in my lungs sometime during the weekend, let in by shabby security guards who were still trying to clear up the Assmar attack. Mucuster and Phlegmy cleverly disguised themselves in wafts of marijuana smoke and made their way to my lungs unnoticed. But no one gets past my rib cage. The gnomes soon caught scent of the potentially dangerous strangers and led a massive attack on the two, blowing them to pieces within seconds of their arrival in the lungs. This large of an explosion unfortunately led to a coughing fit that gripped my body and rendered me a gyrating zombie. The gnomes tried to run, but in my body’s confusion I broke one of their houses, causing it to collapse and kill one (Yosho, rib 4, may he rest in peace).
Now I am nursing a broken rib and painfully coughing up pieces of Mucuster and Phlegmy. I warn you: treat your ninja gnomes with love and respect or you may find yourself in a lot of psychological and physical pain.
This post is dedicated to the life and times of Yosho, the lung defending, rib-dwelling ninja gnome that was destroyed in the recent attacks. We will miss you.
1 comment:
Like all blogs I seem to create and write in-- I forgot that this one existed. I am in the Kent Cooper Room-- bored. I decided to check up on the real... I laughed out loud. I could not possibly contain the being inside of me that I have yet to name that makes you laugh and laugh and laugh. I am even interrupting my work day by writing this post. Too good too good. but too bad also that you had to suffer a broken rib in order to make my day more pleasurable. Why didn't you call and tell me jerk? That is a big deal. You broke part of the things that lets you stand up and move around and sleep and eat and exist. You need to keep me more updated!! I love yoU!
sagan
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